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It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

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It’s Back To School Time and you know what that means… Tons of tears, globs of used tissues tightly clenched in palms and lots and lots of legs dragging unwilling bodies from their cars. Yes, the wailing and gnashing of teeth can be heard across the globe as this universal scene plays out every year. You know what I’m talking about: parents sending their precious babies off to college.

Which brings me to this question…are you “that mom” who is already weepy thinking about the day your world will come crashing down when your toddler moves into his dorm room? Or are you a NORMAL person??? As the mother of four amazing, gifted, sensitive, brilliant, tall, and attractive offspring, all of whom had the audacity to continue their schooling in institutions of higher education, I say…OMG GET OVER IT PEOPLE!!!! This is a NORMAL part of life; a rite of passage which calls for dancing in the streets, not sappy stories about how you cried for five straight hours in the car on the way home. It means you did your job and now you can have a little bit of a life.

In case you’re not sure where I stand on this topic (or even if you might have an inkling), check out my short podcast episode. Seriously, it’s only, like, 15 minutes long or something. You can do it. I believe in you. Just click on the link below or click on the Podcast App on your smart phone, type in “Where Are My Glasses” in the search bar and BOOM! You’re there. Oh and don’t forget to subscribe. I will love you forever. And, no that’s not a weird thing to say.

PS: Confession: my kids are pretty cool, but I might have exaggerated a little – they’re not all tall…

http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com/?p=295

 

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Go To The Light…No, Wait, DON’T!!

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I don’t know…am I the only one who is a little worried that I won’t be able to trust myself to NOT look at the much-anticipated solar eclipse? All along, I’ve been reading on social media and listening on television and radio about making sure to have the correct kind of glasses for viewing and where they can be purchased. And all along, I’ve been thinking to myself, Oh yeah, those people had better make sure they have the right glasses, because we’ve been warned over and over for weeks now that the correct and safe eyewear for this event is a VERY special pair of glasses requiring some effort to obtain and that absolutely, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should we attempt to make our own viewing box with a pinhole through a shoebox. And also all along, I have been totally on board with all of the precautions because my whole life, I’ve been hit over the head with the warning about how dangerous it is to look at a solar eclipse without the proper glasses. I’ve never questioned that wisdom, though I have to admit that I don’t ever recall being in a solar eclipse situation before. EVER. I mean…I’m sure there have been such occurrences in my lifetime, but my mother must have safely stashed me under a bed at the time, or something. I don’t know.

I commented to my husband just last night that I’m predicting a LOT of people are going to suffer eye/vision damage as a result of this phenomenon. But here’s the kicker…this morning as I was pondering how amazing it will be when at 1:37 (or whatever – I did check the time that the eclipse will be at its peak in my area) and suddenly came to the frightening realization that I might not be able to control the dark urge inside me to look at it. When darkness falls, I can envision myself saying, Oh if you just peek out of the corner of your eye, you’ll be fine. And now I’m pretty scared because I’ve checked everywhere and there are NO glasses available for viewing ANYWHERE and I just don’t know if I can trust myself. So, I may very well be one of the idiots who thinks my eyes are super-hero caliber. Here’s to hoping I don’t test that unlikely theory, but I just don’t know. I might… 😈

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Once A Hawkeye…

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So, my baby graduated from college, marking the end of a parenting era for us. Four up, four down. Four Hawkeyes. When I tell people that all of our kids attended the University of Iowa, they naturally wonder if my husband and I had also attended. And…no we hadn’t. We actually both went to Loyola University of Chicago. Iowa just sort of…happened. Continue reading

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Things I Hate…And a Few Things I Love

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Well folks, today’s your lucky day. Today I answer the question which I know has been nagging at you. That’s right. I’m going to share with you some of the things I hate and a few of the things I love. But not just any old things. This is my public admission of the various stuff about which I seem to be on the fringe of society in my preference…things I hate that the rest of the world loves and vice versa.

Tune into my new Where Are My Glasses? podcast, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Each episode is independent and features my hilarious take on life. Yes, you read that right – they’re hilarious.  If you’ve ever considered taking extreme measures to escape your cell phone contract, googled the best ways to break up with your hairdresser, struggled with social media, or stressed out waiting in the longest line (ALWAYS) at the grocery store, I get it and manage to find humor in those mundane moments of life.

The short episodes are perfectly suited to fit a busy schedule. Who couldn’t use a pick-me-up during your commute to work, over a lunch break, or after a long day at the office? So what are you waiting for? Check out Where Are My Glasses Podcast, available for FREE (that’s right…FREE!!) download on your Podcast App. Oh, and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!  Too lazy to search? The following link will take you directly to my most recent episode on your smartphone: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/where-are-my-glasses/id1187030125?mt=2&i=1000384276011

So what are you waiting for? Another way to listen?? Well then, today really IS your lucky day because you can also click on the link below to visit our website, which offers you a chance to listen to episodes AND leave comments, which I would love you forever if you would take the time to comment. Really I would. 🙂

Where Are My Glasses Podcast Website:http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com/?p=228

 

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Go Big Or Go Home

  
In this episode, Marilyn talks about going big, taking risks, and following your dreams…all in the name of happiness. Tell us about a time you followed your dreams. Was it worth the risk?

http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com

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A Parting Glass To Mom And Dad

 

CELTIC TRINITY KNOTWith St. Patrick’s Day upon us, my thoughts naturally turn to my favorite South Side Irishmen. While the day, and in this case, the weekend, is filled with the usual nod to our Irish ancestry, celebrating with parades, rebel songs, beer and plenty of corned beef, a part of me always feels a bit wistful, as memories turn to my parents, no longer here to join in the festivities.  And so, to them I raise a parting glass in salute.

My dad, John Casey Toner, better known as Jack to his friends, died a couple of months shy of my twenty-fifth birthday.  Though I was married with a toddler, I was still a daddy’s girl.  It wasn’t really fair, I know.  My sister is eight years older than me and had been surrounded by boys until my arrival.  In fact, one of her favorite memories was when she and my brothers were sent off to stay with my cousins as they eagerly awaited the newest arrival in the family (me, coming in at number six).  She asked my dad to please let her be the first to know if she had a new sister (for which she had been fervently praying) or another brother (to which she’d resigned herself).  Upon my entrance into the world, my dad telephoned with the news.  When my aunt excitedly answered the phone and asked the obvious question, he told her that he needed to speak with Mary Beth first.  That was the kind of man he was.  The simple, innocent promise made to an eight year old girl took precedence over all else.  When you’re the baby girl in a family, it’s hard not to be spoiled.  So, while my sister was relegated to  the role of second mother to us all, including yet another little brother bringing up the rear, I happily assumed the role of the baby girl.

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And Another Thing…

My most recent podcast episode featured a rant about the things that drive me crazy on Facebook. Maybe they annoy you as well. But somehow, I failed to include the biggest thing that was currently grinding my gears at the time and was the inspiration for the episode to begin with. So, this post today is my addendum to that episode. And if you haven’t listened to it (or maybe you’re on of those people who haven’t listened to ANY of them, in which case, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? HMMM…???) please tune in because it’s funny and we’ve shortened each episode to fit into your busy days. So…that means NO excuses, people. Check it out. You will be so happy you did. 🙂

 

How could I forget to include the MOST annoying post that is BLOWING UP my Facebook feed? It was the reason for my most recent podcast episode and yet, I failed to include it. In that last episode, I went on a bit of a rant (one of my favorite things to do) about the many…MANY things that drive me crazy on Facebook. But I completely omitted one of the things that currently has me screaming at my newsfeed: the live cams. O.M.G. STOP POSTING THESE THINGS PEOPLE. JUST STOP. I don’t care about the giraffe who apparently has been on the brink of delivering the first baby giraffe in a hundred years. Well, I’m assuming it’s been that long because people are going absolutely BESERK over it.

Last week, a Facebook “friend” (I’m definitely redefining that word), was in a frenzy of panic thinking she had missed the momentous occasion. “Oh nooooo, did I miss it?” Her despair over that possibility made me wonder if she spends all day staring at her computer just waiting…waiting…waiting. And I could only imagine that she might have needed to use the bathroom and in those fleeting minutes, MISSED the giraffe birth. Thank God, someone immediately soothed her growing panic by assuring her that, No, no nothing had happened. She hadn’t missed anything. The mom giraffe is still laying in the corner of her giraffe pen. We’re all still waiting. THANK GOD.

In addition to the (supposedly) impending birth, I am seeing random pictures of giraffes now, too, because people are now super enamored with them. Really?? I’m beginning to suspect there might be something more sinister afoot; possibly some giraffe lobby which has begun to fear that the general public was SOMEHOW losing interest in giraffes and SOMETHING had to be done to correct that.

But, I’ve learned that giraffes are not the only phenomenon the Facebook population seems obsessed with. The other live cam barrage I’m experiencing is the Eagle Nest. I’m not sure if it’s a particular nest we’re all watching or just eagles in general. I know eagles are pretty cool but I’m eagled-out not only because of the endless, relentless, unremitting, continuous, and interminable (yes, I consulted a thesaurus for emphasis) live-cam posts on my newsfeed, but I also happen to be the recipient of nonstop photographs of eagles by an insane FB eagle-photographing aficionado. I want SO badly to comment: OMG we GET it…you like eagles.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you until a future podcast episode. You’ve been warned…

 

You can find the podcast two super easy ways:

Click on the Podcast App  on your Smartphone and type in the Search Bar: where are my glasses

 Or by going to our website:   http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com/      

 Oh, and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

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