Tag Archives: humor

Go To The Light…No, Wait, DON’T!!

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I don’t know…am I the only one who is a little worried that I won’t be able to trust myself to NOT look at the much-anticipated solar eclipse? All along, I’ve been reading on social media and listening on television and radio about making sure to have the correct kind of glasses for viewing and where they can be purchased. And all along, I’ve been thinking to myself, Oh yeah, those people had better make sure they have the right glasses, because we’ve been warned over and over for weeks now that the correct and safe eyewear for this event is a VERY special pair of glasses requiring some effort to obtain and that absolutely, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should we attempt to make our own viewing box with a pinhole through a shoebox. And also all along, I have been totally on board with all of the precautions because my whole life, I’ve been hit over the head with the warning about how dangerous it is to look at a solar eclipse without the proper glasses. I’ve never questioned that wisdom, though I have to admit that I don’t ever recall being in a solar eclipse situation before. EVER. I mean…I’m sure there have been such occurrences in my lifetime, but my mother must have safely stashed me under a bed at the time, or something. I don’t know.

I commented to my husband just last night that I’m predicting a LOT of people are going to suffer eye/vision damage as a result of this phenomenon. But here’s the kicker…this morning as I was pondering how amazing it will be when at 1:37 (or whatever – I did check the time that the eclipse will be at its peak in my area) and suddenly came to the frightening realization that I might not be able to control the dark urge inside me to look at it. When darkness falls, I can envision myself saying, Oh if you just peek out of the corner of your eye, you’ll be fine. And now I’m pretty scared because I’ve checked everywhere and there are NO glasses available for viewing ANYWHERE and I just don’t know if I can trust myself. So, I may very well be one of the idiots who thinks my eyes are super-hero caliber. Here’s to hoping I don’t test that unlikely theory, but I just don’t know. I might… 😈

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Things I Hate…And a Few Things I Love

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Well folks, today’s your lucky day. Today I answer the question which I know has been nagging at you. That’s right. I’m going to share with you some of the things I hate and a few of the things I love. But not just any old things. This is my public admission of the various stuff about which I seem to be on the fringe of society in my preference…things I hate that the rest of the world loves and vice versa.

Tune into my new Where Are My Glasses? podcast, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Each episode is independent and features my hilarious take on life. Yes, you read that right – they’re hilarious.  If you’ve ever considered taking extreme measures to escape your cell phone contract, googled the best ways to break up with your hairdresser, struggled with social media, or stressed out waiting in the longest line (ALWAYS) at the grocery store, I get it and manage to find humor in those mundane moments of life.

The short episodes are perfectly suited to fit a busy schedule. Who couldn’t use a pick-me-up during your commute to work, over a lunch break, or after a long day at the office? So what are you waiting for? Check out Where Are My Glasses Podcast, available for FREE (that’s right…FREE!!) download on your Podcast App. Oh, and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!  Too lazy to search? The following link will take you directly to my most recent episode on your smartphone: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/where-are-my-glasses/id1187030125?mt=2&i=1000384276011

So what are you waiting for? Another way to listen?? Well then, today really IS your lucky day because you can also click on the link below to visit our website, which offers you a chance to listen to episodes AND leave comments, which I would love you forever if you would take the time to comment. Really I would. 🙂

Where Are My Glasses Podcast Website:http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com/?p=228

 

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And Another Thing…

My most recent podcast episode featured a rant about the things that drive me crazy on Facebook. Maybe they annoy you as well. But somehow, I failed to include the biggest thing that was currently grinding my gears at the time and was the inspiration for the episode to begin with. So, this post today is my addendum to that episode. And if you haven’t listened to it (or maybe you’re on of those people who haven’t listened to ANY of them, in which case, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? HMMM…???) please tune in because it’s funny and we’ve shortened each episode to fit into your busy days. So…that means NO excuses, people. Check it out. You will be so happy you did. 🙂

 

How could I forget to include the MOST annoying post that is BLOWING UP my Facebook feed? It was the reason for my most recent podcast episode and yet, I failed to include it. In that last episode, I went on a bit of a rant (one of my favorite things to do) about the many…MANY things that drive me crazy on Facebook. But I completely omitted one of the things that currently has me screaming at my newsfeed: the live cams. O.M.G. STOP POSTING THESE THINGS PEOPLE. JUST STOP. I don’t care about the giraffe who apparently has been on the brink of delivering the first baby giraffe in a hundred years. Well, I’m assuming it’s been that long because people are going absolutely BESERK over it.

Last week, a Facebook “friend” (I’m definitely redefining that word), was in a frenzy of panic thinking she had missed the momentous occasion. “Oh nooooo, did I miss it?” Her despair over that possibility made me wonder if she spends all day staring at her computer just waiting…waiting…waiting. And I could only imagine that she might have needed to use the bathroom and in those fleeting minutes, MISSED the giraffe birth. Thank God, someone immediately soothed her growing panic by assuring her that, No, no nothing had happened. She hadn’t missed anything. The mom giraffe is still laying in the corner of her giraffe pen. We’re all still waiting. THANK GOD.

In addition to the (supposedly) impending birth, I am seeing random pictures of giraffes now, too, because people are now super enamored with them. Really?? I’m beginning to suspect there might be something more sinister afoot; possibly some giraffe lobby which has begun to fear that the general public was SOMEHOW losing interest in giraffes and SOMETHING had to be done to correct that.

But, I’ve learned that giraffes are not the only phenomenon the Facebook population seems obsessed with. The other live cam barrage I’m experiencing is the Eagle Nest. I’m not sure if it’s a particular nest we’re all watching or just eagles in general. I know eagles are pretty cool but I’m eagled-out not only because of the endless, relentless, unremitting, continuous, and interminable (yes, I consulted a thesaurus for emphasis) live-cam posts on my newsfeed, but I also happen to be the recipient of nonstop photographs of eagles by an insane FB eagle-photographing aficionado. I want SO badly to comment: OMG we GET it…you like eagles.

I could go on, but I’ll spare you until a future podcast episode. You’ve been warned…

 

You can find the podcast two super easy ways:

Click on the Podcast App  on your Smartphone and type in the Search Bar: where are my glasses

 Or by going to our website:   http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com/      

 Oh, and don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

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People, Let Me Tell You Bout my Best Friend…Or How I Unwittingly Became An Uber Before That Was A Thing

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Do you remember the day you met your best friend? I do and quite honestly, if I had known her as a kid, I probably wouldn’t have liked her, and I’m quite certain I would never have been allowed into her circle of cool friends, of which she was the undisputed reigning queen. The stories I’ve heard from her childhood friends, her husband and even herself confirm this. But fast-forward a few decades and the circumstances of our first meeting placed me at the top of her A-List because she saw something in me; something that I could offer her that she desperately wanted…transportation of her kids to school.

When we moved into our new house, I was welcomed by several friendly neighbors bearing cookies and other treats, so I thought Monique’s visit would be no different. By the way, if you haven’t already guessed, Monique isn’t her real name (is anyone really named Monique??) It’s just a moniker she uses when she joins me on various undercover assignments. Yes, we do that on occasion…  https://boxwinebudget.com/2012/02/10/i-know-what-you-did-last-sunday/

But, she heard through the grapevine that the new neighbors had kids who attended the same parochial school as her own offspring. An idea was quickly hatched in which she wasted no time ringing my doorbell, handing over a plate of brownies and introducing her daughter, who stood like a little cherub by her side. Turned out, my daughter was the same age and both were registered to start kindergarten at the same school. Monique also had an older son the same age as my boys. Before we moved in, they were the only kids in the neighborhood who attended this school, as all the others went to the local public school. So those parents were of no use to Monique. I, however, was heaven-sent, as the daily grind of shlepping her son to and from school was growing wearisome.

So, you might wonder why on earth I would ever want to befriend this self-absorbed person? Simple. She really isn’t awful at all. Well, maybe just a little, but in a totally good way. And yes, you can be bad in a good way. Turns out, those are my favorite kind of people. And I probably would have never known that about myself had she not approached our doorstep with that smile, those cookies and that agenda. And from that day forward, no one has ever made me laugh as hard as she can and no one is as eager to join me on my subversive missions, which I seem to have with alarming frequency.

Together, we have navigated the treacherous waters of parenting young children and teenagers, managed to find colleges that actually wanted them through graduation and beyond (well, we’re still kind of holding our breath on that last part) and even (WARNING…SHAMEFUL PLUG AHEAD…) collaborated on a collection of humorous short stories detailing our harrowing parenting experiences (Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget) as well as a second, darker novel about a desperate woman’s unorthodox method of stress-management (NUMB). And we attended numerous writer’s groups, only to conclude that we were WAYYY better writers than those collections of losers. In all fairness, they probably weren’t ALL losers…

But best of all, she always enthusiastically joins me in my (sometimes outrageous) schemes to get rich quick. And with a friend like that, ummm… we’re probably going to need someone willing to bail us out…

Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget: 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006EU1SP6


NUMB: 

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ELICULY


 

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Episode 7…Why Crime Doesn’t Pay

  
YESSS!!! Episode 7 is in the air and who doesn’t love a good “Dumb Criminal” story? How can you get to it, you ask? It’s SO easy! Just click on the Podcast App on your smart phone and type in the search bar: Where Are My Glasses and BOOM! You’re there! No I’m not kidding – it really IS that simple. So do yourself a favor already and give a listen.

I’ve shortened my episodes to accommodate your busy day, so be sure to pencil in 16 minutes for a smile & check it out 😊 It’s important to smile at least once a day! 

And don’t forget to Subscribe! (I’ll love you forever if you do. For real…I will) 

http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com

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Join My Rant And Share The Love…Or Whatever

  I’ve been busy podcasting my little heart out and would LOVE for you to check it out! In a nutshell, each episode features various rants, raves, and laughs with a little true crime and reality television thrown in for fun. Perfect for listening to during your commute to work, running errands or to brighten the dreariness of household chores. Join me as I laugh at the absurdities of life. And PS: DONT FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE!! It’s free and acts as a tool to help us keep track of downloads. 

Episode 6 is up! I’m on a real rant in this episode: Hate your cable provider? Need tips on getting away with murder? And….why did FB ban me? Tune in to find out the answers. It’s super easy!!! Just click on the link below. You’ll be so happy you did. I promise 😊

Where Are My Glasses Podcast:  apple.co/2jrw5lk

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Where Are My Glasses?? Oh Never Mind…

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So, a few weeks ago, my son, Mike, texted me asking if I’d be interested in hosting a podcast. Naturally, I said…”Uhhhh…yeeeaah… When do I start?” He’s always had a creative, entrepreneurial spirit about him so a question like this didn’t surprise me. 

We immediately got to work and after a few business meetings regarding content, episode segment outlines and the how-to’s of using the microphone and most importantly, sending my recorded content through the mysterious invisible lines connecting our emails, we were set to go. He was a little nervous about my tech skills and his concerns soon proved to be valid after many failed attempts to email the files… 

“I thought you wrote down the steps of how to do this, Mom.” 

“I did. But it’s not working…” 

Turns out, I was the one that wasn’t working. But, I’ve gotten pretty good at it now, having recently aired our third episode, with the next one in the works. I swear, he’s a slave-driver.

The name of the podcast is a line my kids have grown up hearing me groan: Where are my glasses? And, more times than not…yeah, you called it…they’re on top of my head. So now, as I ask the eternal question, I do so while patting my head.
Mike’s thought was that the podcast would be like a recorded radio version of my blog. That is, pretty much me gabbing about whatever happens to be on my mind or going on in my life at the moment, with topics that listeners can to relate to. I’ve also included my daughter as a guest on the show, taking advantage of her being home from school on Christmas break. So far, I’ve received some very positive feedback with people responding that they’ve found themselves laughing out loud at some of my observations.

I would LOVE if you would give the podcast a listen and let me know what you think. And if you would be so kind as to leave a rating and/or review on the site, that would be AWESOME, as we are interested in listeners’ comments and very much want to keep it relevant. We also welcome your input for topic ideas.

And don’t forget to click on “SUBSCRIBE” – it’s FREE and there is no obligation. Subscribing helps us keep track of the number of downloads and will notify you of new episodes. Thank you, thank you and I hope to hear from you SOON!!!  🙂

Links to Where Are My Glasses Podcast:

WEBSITE: http://www.wherearemyglassespodcast.com

PODCAST APP ON SMART PHONE: Tap on the app and then type in the Search Bar:  Where are my glasses

TWITTER@wheremyglasses

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