Do you remember the day you met your best friend? I do and quite honestly, if I had known her as a kid, I probably wouldn’t have liked her, and I’m quite certain I would never have been allowed into her circle of cool friends, of which she was the undisputed reigning queen. The stories I’ve heard from her childhood friends, her husband and even herself confirm this. But fast-forward a few decades and the circumstances of our first meeting placed me at the top of her A-List because she saw something in me; something that I could offer her that she desperately wanted…transportation of her kids to school.
When we moved into our new house, I was welcomed by several friendly neighbors bearing cookies and other treats, so I thought Monique’s visit would be no different. By the way, if you haven’t already guessed, Monique isn’t her real name (is anyone really named Monique??) It’s just a moniker she uses when she joins me on various undercover assignments. Yes, we do that on occasion… https://boxwinebudget.com/2012/02/10/i-know-what-you-did-last-sunday/
But, she heard through the grapevine that the new neighbors had kids who attended the same parochial school as her own offspring. An idea was quickly hatched in which she wasted no time ringing my doorbell, handing over a plate of brownies and introducing her daughter, who stood like a little cherub by her side. Turned out, my daughter was the same age and both were registered to start kindergarten at the same school. Monique also had an older son the same age as my boys. Before we moved in, they were the only kids in the neighborhood who attended this school, as all the others went to the local public school. So those parents were of no use to Monique. I, however, was heaven-sent, as the daily grind of shlepping her son to and from school was growing wearisome.
So, you might wonder why on earth I would ever want to befriend this self-absorbed person? Simple. She really isn’t awful at all. Well, maybe just a little, but in a totally good way. And yes, you can be bad in a good way. Turns out, those are my favorite kind of people. And I probably would have never known that about myself had she not approached our doorstep with that smile, those cookies and that agenda. And from that day forward, no one has ever made me laugh as hard as she can and no one is as eager to join me on my subversive missions, which I seem to have with alarming frequency.
Together, we have navigated the treacherous waters of parenting young children and teenagers, managed to find colleges that actually wanted them through graduation and beyond (well, we’re still kind of holding our breath on that last part) and even (WARNING…SHAMEFUL PLUG AHEAD…) collaborated on a collection of humorous short stories detailing our harrowing parenting experiences (Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget) as well as a second, darker novel about a desperate woman’s unorthodox method of stress-management (NUMB). And we attended numerous writer’s groups, only to conclude that we were WAYYY better writers than those collections of losers. In all fairness, they probably weren’t ALL losers…
But best of all, she always enthusiastically joins me in my (sometimes outrageous) schemes to get rich quick. And with a friend like that, ummm… we’re probably going to need someone willing to bail us out…
Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget: