Tag Archives: Hoover the dog

Man’s Best Friend, Mom’s Worst Nightmare

Most horror stories begin very innocently.  A good-looking family moves into a charming farmhouse in a bucolic town.  The kids excitedly run through the house, each claiming a bedroom.  The move itself plays itself out in pure fantasy, as neatly labelled boxes are placed in the appropriate rooms and each member of the clan smiling in their clean, crisply-pressed button-down shirts, casually cuffed at the sleeve.  Neighbors, armed with sweet delights and casseroles welcome them to the neighborhood.  But, we all know what’s hiding in the dark attic.

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Dog Court

The following is an excerpt from our book, Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget (Petrina Collins and Casey Quinn) now available for download on Kindle and Kindle apps for iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, PC, Mac, Blackberry and Android-based devices ($2.99 at amazon.com).

PETS: PART II – DOG COURT

 

            Irrational behavior is often blamed on the rollercoaster ride of hormones.  Whether it is labeled as PMS or menopause, women have a built-in excuse for bad decisions.  Tami had the good sense to opt for major surgery to end the monthly madness.  I think there was probably some medical reason for the surgery, but I’m sure it paled in comparison with the other unquestionable benefits of the procedure.  Naturally, I was wildly jealous of her seemingly simple solution. 

            One day, before Tami’s epiphany of life without the threat of pregnancy, exhausting mood swings, or periods (usually resulting in husband, Jim, asking incredulously, “Again?”), she fell under the evil spell of estrogen and made a decision that eventually landed her in dog court.

            The day started like any other.  The kids were unrelenting in their pleas for a companion for their golden retriever, Rookie, who had already begun receiving AARP newsletters.  Truth be told, I don’t think Rookie really had any interest in cultivating new friendships at that point in his life.  Hmmm…sounds familiar.  Maybe Tami and Rookie had more in common than we thought.  Anyway, she let her guard down and found herself driving down the road that dead-ended with Tami asking herself, “What have I done?”  And in the blink of an eye, a new member was added to the family.  Tami knew the instant Max entered the car for the drive home that she had made a huge mistake.  He was a beagle puppy, and like all puppies, was lovable at first glance.  That’s the evil part of the whole thing.  Tami hadn’t had puppy experience, having adopted Rookie after he’d passed that stage.  His worst habit was his penchant for take-out pizza.  And he most certainly had the common decency to do his business outside the house.  Max had a lot to learn and seemed absolutely unwilling to do so.  Continue reading

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