The Stella Awards have come and gone and I’ll bet you didn’t even know it. Okay, I didn’t know about it either. Turns out, the Stella Awards recognize the marriage between supreme stupidity and our judicial system. They are named after Stella Liebeck, the eighty-one year old woman who successfully sued McDonald’s after spilling hot coffee on herself. We all remember that moment in lawsuit history.
For those readers who may have been worried sick about whether or not I would be able to continue my regular Saturday morning ritual, I thought I should follow-up with a…ummm… a follow-up. You’re welcome. As you might recall (I mean it was just seven days ago for goodness sake), my husband and I found ourselves in a terrifying nightmare as a cicada quietly alit on his shirt sleeve while we were minding our own business, enjoying the beautiful day. I tried, in a reasonable manner (although my husband vehemently disagrees on that point) to gently warn him (again, my depiction of the event is in vigorous opposition to his) of the humongous beast on his arm. Okay, admittedly, it did involve a lot of screaming and me violently trying to free myself of the seat belt into which I was “safely” strapped. The jury is still out on just how safe the situation was. I was successful, however, in smashing the prehistoric bug with my purse.
Anyway, long story short, we narrowly missed causing a multi-car collision on the road. I may have forgotten to mention that he was driving at the time. I also contend that, due to his response to my response, we narrowly avoided a date in divorce court. But that’s neither here nor there. The point is, that these cicadas are evil and have absolutely no regard for the sanctity of marriage OR road safety.
Anyway…back to my follow-up. Today is Saturday and, yes, we made the bold decision to repeat our usual trip for coffee and saunter down the quaint streets of Geneva, IL. We, well…I…decided I was NOT going to let those creepy creatures win. And, while I did keep my eyeballs peeled for their stealthy presence, we managed to survive our daring experiment unscathed. Well, pretty much. I did have a rather embarrassing confrontation with a bee…