Tag Archives: family

May 25, 2015 · 4:02 pm

What Goes Up…

 

ELEVATOR

 

Today, I am so excited to share with you my son, Brian’s, super-exciting project. As many of you already know, Brian is nearing the end of his Master’s Degree program in Cinema Directing at DePaul University. DePaul’s Cinema program has skyrocketed  in national rankings of film schools and is regularly ranked one of the top schools in the nation. Not bad for a program that is less than ten years old. The city of Chicago has become a film-set mecca and the huge Cinescape Soundstage is ground zero for most Chicago-based film and television productions.

As his final class project, Brian is directing a short film entitled, What Goes Up. It is a dark, atmospheric look at how one man’s choices in life affect his final moments. Brian is very proud of this film and made a decision to treat it as a serious, independent film, rather than just a class project. This decision has been as terrifying for him as it has been exhilarating because of the risks he is taking to make his concept a reality. He told me that when others heard his idea, they thought his vision would be impossible for a student to capture onscreen. Among other obstacles, it required outdoor filming on a rooftop with a gun, which, in turn required insurance, a permit, and Chicago police presence. He also needed to figure out how to create an elevator for a major part of the film. Brian was fortunate enough to find a Producer and Director of Photography who believed in his vision and made the impossible possible. They were able to rent the elevator set from the set of “Chicago PD” at Cinescape Soundstage. The finished product will be entered in film festivals from coast to coast and promises to be fantastic. And creepy. I am confident it will receive a lot of well-deserved recognition.

When this film is completed, What Goes Up, will represent the  physical embodiment of what started out as a simple idea he and a fellow student had when they put the pen to paper almost a year ago. This is what dreams are all about and you, dear readers, have the power to help this dream happen. I am calling out to my readers to check out Brian’s Kickstarter page and think about donating to his campaign. Even a donation as small as $5 is an option, and one he would be thrilled to receive. The following is his public appeal:

“We’ve been lucky enough to gain access to several beautiful filming locations, as well as find a talented and experienced crew. A film doesn’t come without its costs, so it’d be greatly appreciated if you would donate to our kick-starter campaign and help us cover rental, food, production design, and transportation costs. Please like and share this with your friends! Thank you!”

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/320657146/what-goes-up

And remember…

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.  – Walt Disney

A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.  – Colin Powell

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

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May 10, 2015 · 8:19 am

The Fast Track To Becoming Mom’s Favorite Kid

Living The Dream Book CoverLooking for a fast, easy gift for Mom that will bring a smile to her face? How ’bout the gift of reading about other harried mothers and the craziness of family life in general? Believe me, every mother wants reassurance that she is not navigating the looney waters of parenthood alone. Yes, there ARE others who feel her pain and laugh their way through it. For a mere $2.99, you can give her just that. And she’ll love you for it. Probably even more than your siblings…

Just a simple click on this link & you’re almost there. The book is downloadable on Kindle or ANY device with the FREE Kindle app. It seriously could not be any easier. So, get moving already. Click on the link and be prepared to move up the favorite child ladder. You’re welcome. 🙂

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January 7, 2015 · 3:31 pm

Don’t Worry…We’ve Got Your Back

20150107-144632.jpg“I think you’re just saying that because you’re worried about me.”

Those words were quietly uttered to me by my son last week when my husband and I suggested he lengthen his stay at our house over the holidays. I was taken back a bit by his words, but had to admit, he was right. We were worried about him. He had been recently dealing with a lot of stress which led to sleep issues, but seemed to improve so much while at home, goofing around with his sister and two brothers. A change of scenery and a break from the stress he’d been dealing with worked wonders for him.

I later explained that he was right.  We did worry about him, just like we worry about all of our kids. Yes, he’s twenty-eight years old. Yes, he’s married. But we’re parents and parents worry. That’s what we do best. And that’s normal. Continue reading →

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September 25, 2014 · 2:29 pm

Parenting, Worry And Ernest Hemingway…

ERNEST HEMINGWAY PICWell, I’m back after a very long period of writer’s block. Writer’s block, combined with a very busy summer, lots on my mind and, ummm…writer’s block. I recently came across an interesting quote by Ernest Hemingway, that hack writer. Anyway, he said “Worry destroys the ability to write.” And to that I say: Truer words were never spoke. But an even better quote from him is this: “If something is broken, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.” I wholeheartedly agree. As my grandma used to say, to worry is to borrow trouble. No point in that. However, I AM a parent and worry is the constant companion of every parent. It’s just part of the deal. So, let’s do a little word problem…

One Praying Parent (Novena-Rosary-or-Name Your Personal Prayer Style) directly correlates to One Child whirling through life’s foibles TIMES number of Said Children TIMES the number of Hours in a Day TIMES the Entire Lifetime of Said Children = One Crazy Parent PLUS at LEAST one, probably very annoyed, Patron Saint. (Yes, this particular math problem is a Catholic one, but by no means excludes non-Catholic parents – we’re all in this together.)

As you can tell from that equation, I really stink at math. But you probably get the point. Being a parent ain’t easy. That said, my kids are easily the BEST thing that ever happened to me, as I’m sure yours are. And, as much as I blame them for my current state of financial ruin, the truth is that they’re probably only responsible for maybe 75% of it. Possibly less… But I’m gonna say probably not.

So, yes, financial disaster is part of my ongoing worry. But, like any parent, I also worry about my kids growing into mature, honorable and deep-down GOOD people. Oh and about them getting jobs, too. Jobs that will not only pay the bills, but will fill them with excitement so they will be able to LIVE life, rather than just survive it. They don’t have to be millionaires (but I’ve advised them not to rule it out) to live happily and contentedly. I’ve often repeated this quote from one of my sons because I love it and it makes me proud. When speaking of his career plans, he said, “My goals in life aren’t confined to a paycheck.”  When I hear that, I know these kids of mine are so worth my being broke. As parents, we sacrifice. We’ve given everything we have to provide our kids the opportunity to go out into the world and make good use of the gifts they’ve been given. I mean, what the heck, it’s only money…right?

PS: My son’s two short essays on the life of a musician can be found here: http://pjnmusic.blogspot.com/

PS…they’re good 😊

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May 20, 2014 · 1:49 pm

Confessions Of A Cookie-Challenged Mom…

 

burnt-cookies-picWell, it’s happened again. I’m really not sure if I’ll ever learn the lesson. I’ve come to the painful conclusion that there is something inherently wrong with me that I am absolutely INCAPABLE of baking a batch of cookies. Edible cookies, that is. I used to be a sort-of good baker. Admittedly, my creations were often not pretty to look. I never was deluded into thinking I could pass myself off as a baked goods artiste. But, the treats I baked always tasted pretty darn good. I think I probably just got lazy over the years. But, I mean, seriously, why the heck can’t I bake a decent batch of cookies anymore? I’m not exaggerating. Just ask my family. When I tell them I’m baking, there is an audible groan. One day, after an unsuccessful attempt, which resulted in a pan of lumpy black charcoals, I set the smoking pan outside on the deck. When my husband came home from work, he saw the pan outside and casually said, “Were you baking today?”

Yes, something has changed. I don’t know what it is, but it has become IMPOSSIBLE for me to successfully bake a batch of cookies. I mean cookies that are ooey-gooey good. The kind that people want to eat. At best, mine aren’t burned, technically,  but definitely crispy. That’s become my code word. “They are NOT burned. They’re crispy.” Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But, I would love to be able to confidently bake a batch of cookies that doesn’t require gallons of milk to choke them down. I’m not even talking about the kind of baking that involves flour and sugar and eggs and whatever else cookies are made of. I’m talking about the pre-made Pillsbury cookie dough you buy at the store. It’s already pre-cut into cookie shapes! All I have to do is transfer them from the packaging to a baking pan, stick it in the oven and…here where it gets tricky…REMOVE them from said oven after about 10 minutes. The “removal part” I’ve learned, is key to the whole cookie-baking process.

I know what you’re thinking. And, YES I DO set a timer. And, I’ve even figured out that I shouldn’t stray too far from the oven during that ever-important ten minute period, so as not to miss the buzzing alert. And, yet, every single time, I find myself sniffing the air, thinking “Mmmm….something smells good.” Which is probably the time I should head over to the oven and check on the cookies. But, I don’t because, in the matter of several minutes after depositing the pan into the oven, I’ve somehow forgotten that cookies are baking. Instead, I continue whatever I’m doing until I finally do remember. And then it’s always “OH SHI******….” Every. Single. Time.

I remember once, on my way to pick my daughter up from school, I texted her saying I had made Snickerdoodles – those yummy cinnamon cookies. Her response: “Really? That sounds like something someone else’s mom would do.” I got lucky that day – no black smoke billowing from the kitchen. Mary Kate was so proud of me. That was a good day…

 

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May 11, 2014 · 8:20 am

Happy Mother’s Day…Or Why You Should Be Happy The Kids Are Gone

Mothers-DayHappy Mother’s Day! Someone remarked to me recently what a good mother I am, to which I responded that it’s easy when the kids aren’t around. My children are slowly growing up and moving away from Mom and Dad. Does that sadden me? No. It makes me happy and proud. That’s what’s supposed to happen. My oldest son, Mike, is married to the lovely Laura 🙂 and living in downtown Chicago. Brian is finishing up his second year of grad school at DePaul University and also living downtown. He has started working on his thesis, which will be the final piece of his graduate studies and will take him well into the next school year. As his mom, I would love if he could make his career in Chicago, and that could happen, however, I know that his field may very well lead him to other parts of the country. And that’s okay, too. If that happens, we’ll miss him terribly, but he must follow his path. My two youngest, Peter and Mary Kate, only have a short time left to be together, as students in the Percussion Studio at University of Iowa. Peter is set to graduate next Saturday and then, together, they will embark on the Steel Band Tour the following week. (Since it’s Mother’s Day, I will boast that Mary Kate is the only freshman who will be going on the tour…so that’s pretty cool 🙂  As a girl drummer, she totally rocks!) The University of Tennessee in Knoxville then beckons Peter to begin his graduate studies in the fall, a short six hundred mile drive away…

Today, I will spend my Mother’s Day in Iowa City for Pete’s final recital. As a music major, he was required to perform a formal Senior Recital, which is much more than simply a performance. It involves choosing the music, researching the composers and the background of the pieces, creating arrangements of pieces and, of course, a perfect execution of the music for an audience. Pete chose to perform a recital his sophomore, junior and senior years. His formal Senior Recital was nothing short of awesome. The recital which I am attending today, is what he has termed, his “fun” recital. I’m not sure how many kids would voluntarily perform an extra recital, just for fun. I’m guessing not many. And I can’t wait to hear and see him play. My husband and I made the three-hour drive to Iowa City two nights ago to see the last Steel Band Concert of the school year, and, more importantly, the last concert Mary Kate and Peter will perform together. Today, we will see Peter’s  last performance of his undergraduate career. And we can’t wait. Next Thursday, I’ll make that drive again to move MK out of her dorm and into her brother’s apartment as they prepare for their tour. I will then return on  Friday for the graduation on Saturday. After sending four children to the University of Iowa, the drive is second nature. Like running to the grocery store. “I’m going to Iowa. Be back in six hours…Need anything while I’m out?”

So, yes, I’m celebrating the fact that my kids are leaving me. You should be too. And, if your kids are still young-uns, remember that this is the goal.

So, on this Mother’s Day, I will leave you with my unsolicited advice on parenting (in no particular order):

1. Don’t be afraid of the word NO. It may very well be the most important one in your vocabulary. Just ask my kids…

2. Instill a solid faith in God. It’s what will get them through the tough times.They may stray, but will hopefully return if they have something to return to.

3. Let them know that there WILL be tough times. I will repeat the wise words of a priest at church: “Parents, teach your kids that life is not fair.”

4. Laugh. Laugh loud and often. Tease and allow yourself to be teased.

5. Expose them to everything – sports, music, chess, books, theater, etc and see what excites them. And then encourage them to follow their dreams. 

And most importantly…

6. Do not discourage or quash their spirit. “Every child is an artist until they are told they are not”  John Lennon

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April 7, 2014 · 9:06 pm

Lesson Learned: Don’t Trust The Emoji…

 

TOOTHLESS EMOJIWell, we’re heading into the home-stretch of the school year now and it’s hard to believe my youngest is almost finished with her first year of college. In preparation for the upcoming final exams, I received a message from the University of Iowa that a Care Package filled with healthy snacks (or not so healthy, depending on how much you love your child) can be ordered to help them get through that grueling week of final exams.

Let me just say right here that I have always been a person overflowing with good intentions… Over the course of four children,  ten years of college (so far),  and a grand total (so far) of twenty-five Final Exam Weeks, I know I sent a Care Package at least once. Maybe twice. Possibly three times, but probably not.  So last fall, when I received the same email notification, I thought, “Wouldn’t that be a nice little surprise for Mary Kate?”  But of course, time got the best of me and I suddenly realized that the deadline to order had arrived. In my haste, I hurriedly filled out the online form from my cell phone and clicked, “Submit.” YES!!! I did it! I have to say, I was quite proud of myself and  smiled thinking how happy and surprised she’d be to get such a fun, special delivery. I was riding high, but my state of euphoria was soon  squelched when I received another email that changed everything. It went something like this. Well, actually, it went EXACTLY like this:

Steven D., Extended Services Director uiowaarhesd@gmail.com
11/21/13

Hello Marilyn,

I am the Extended Services Director for the Associated Residence Halls Board of Directors. I just wanted to let you know that your Care Package order did not go through and the reason was due to the use of an emoji in the order form. Please feel free to try and order again, however, without the use of an emoji. Let me know if you run into any other troubles.

Steven

An emoji??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  I admit to, probably, an over-use of emojis in my text messages, but how the heck did an emoji sneak into my order form? And, more importantly, WHICH emoji was sent?  I’ll never know. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with emoji, they are  those cute little smiley faces which often accompany a text message or Facebook status. Besides the smiley faces, there are a myriad of other little symbols that seem to perfectly punctuate most of my text messages. Upon reading of my failure to successfully order a Care Package,  I was so deflated that I decided I couldn’t go through the emotional trauma of attempting another order. So, once again, my kid had to somehow get through finals without healthy snacks to fortify her. I later learned that she only had one final since, as a music major,  most of her final grades were based on various performances.  But now, as another finals week approaches, I am grappling with the dilemma of Care Package? Or no?  Dare I? Mary Kate did ask if I could give it another try,” however, without the use of an emoji.”  I’ll let you know how that works out…

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April 3, 2014 · 3:35 pm

Hey Music, What Have You Done For Me Lately?

 

MUSIC SYMBOLS

Why would anyone study music? I know these words have been uttered countless times by miserable high schoolers, forced to take a Music Appreciation class or participate in Band. I would venture to say that most kids who make up the various bands in school do so because:

1.  Mom and Dad are making them do it.

2. They have an interest in playing an instrument but have no plans to pursue music, because…HELLO… they plan to actually make money.

3. It’s a social outlet. These kids, by the way, are the thorns in the sides of band directors everywhere and the few kids (like my own) who take it seriously, because they NEVER practice. And…

4. They love music and want to live a life in music.

To those who fall into category #4, the following is not only understood, it is fully embraced. But it is to the rest of the school band population, as well as the population at large, who often question the sanity of someone who would choose to study music, that the following is addressed. Hopefully,  they will come to appreciate the complexity of music and, perhaps, understand the wonderfully rewarding answer my musician son gives when asked the question he’s heard over and over again: What are you going to do with that degree? Answer? “I’m going to be happy for the rest of my life.”

 

MUSIC FACT

MUSIC IS A SCIENCE

It is exact, specific; and it demands exact acoustics. A conductor’s full score is a chart, a graph which indicates frequencies, intensities, volume changes, melody, and harmony all at once and with the most exact control of time.

MUSIC IS MATHEMATICAL

It is rhythmically based on the subdivisions of time into fractions which must be done instantaneously, not worked out on paper.

MUSIC IS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

Most of the terms are in Italian, German, or French; and the notation is certainly not English but a highly developed kind of shorthand that uses symbols to represent ideas. The semantics of music is the most complete and universal language.

MUSIC IS PHYSICAL EDUCATION

It requires fantastic coordination of fingers, hands, arms, lip, cheek, and facial muscles, in addition to extraordinary control of the abdominal, back, stomach, and chest muscles which respond instantly to the sound the ear hears and the mind interprets.

MUSIC IS ALL THESE THINGS, BUT MOST OF ALL, MUSIC IS ART

It allows a human being to take all these dry, technically boring to some (but difficult) techniques and use them to create emotion. That is one thing science cannot duplicate: humanism, feeling, emotion – call it what you will.

THAT IS WHY WE STUDY MUSIC!

Not because we expect you to major in music.

Not because we expect you to play or sing all your life (though you certainly can!)

Not so you can relax.

Not so you can have fun.

But so you will be human; so you will recognize beauty; so you will be sensitive; so you will be closer to an infinite beyond this world; so you will have something to cling to; so you will have more love, more compassion, more gentleness, more good – in short, more life.

Of what value will it be to make a prosperous living, unless you know how to live?

 

 

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January 1, 2014 · 1:07 am

Like A Thief In The Night…

Grandpa pic

“Death comes like a thief in the night.”

Those words have been etched in my brain for twenty-six and a half years, when my mother quietly uttered them following the unexpected death of my dad. And now, the thief has returned. My father-in-law, whom I have written about several times in this blog, passed away during the night. With his recently rapid decline in health, we knew Death would take him any day. No, it did not sneak in through a back door. Rather, it came as a welcome reprieve for a man who suffered much toward the end of his time on this earth.  And, no, it is not a tragedy. He lived a long and full life. He grew up without knowing his father, having lost him to the thief at the tender age of two. He was not fatherless, however. He had uncles who lovingly served as father figures. He attended Marmion Military Academy, beginning what would become a seventy year dedication to the Monks of Marmion Abbey. At the terribly young age of nineteen, he experienced, simultaneously, both the brutality and merciful heroics of his fellow man when he suffered a life-threatening and, certainly, life-changing wound during the battle at Iwo Jima. Upon his return home, he attended college, eventually earning his Master’s degree from the University of Chicago. But, without question, among all his achievements, the title he most cherished was simply “Dad.”

He was a humble and faith-filled man who never considered himself a hero for his military service, uncomfortable with the label.  He never thought himself above anyone. Ever.  He was a man who witnessed good and evil in the world. He was a man who loved his family. And he was a man who loved God and took his faith very seriously.  He lived his life in such a way that he never needed to worry about when the thief would come. So, while he will be missed by we who are left behind, his passing is not a tragedy. It is simply his final journey home.

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October 2, 2013 · 10:07 am

You, Too, Can Live The Dream For Free… But Only Today & Tomorrow…

Living The Dream Book CoverWell, today’s the day. What day, you ask? Well, since you asked…today’s the day that our book, Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget (Casey Quinn, Petrina Collins, Amazon 2011) is being offered for  FREE download on Amazon. That’s right – FREE. Up until today, it was priced at a whopping $2.99. But, as part of a Kindle promotion, it is being offered free of charge for today and tomorrow only. As you can probably tell from the title, it was the seed for our Life On A Box Wine Budget blog and it is a collection of light, humorous essays depicting the absurdities of family life. As is the case with this blog, the stories in our book are taken straight from the actual lives of my BWB partner and myself, telling real stories about raising our kids and the struggle to stay sane through it all. We’re hoping that they will someday forgive us… Continue reading →

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