Close Encounters Of The Rabid Kind

My son recently had a frightening experience as he and his fiance were enjoying a leisurely walk along the lakefront on one of the beautiful fall days we’ve been having lately in Chicago.  They noticed something on the ground and Laura wondered aloud what it was.  Mike said it looked, at first, like a piece of garbage, but as they got closer, it appeared to be a dead bird.  Just as they were passing it, the thing opened its mouth, exposing fangs, and hissed loudly for several seconds and then spread its wide wings.  It was a bat.  In order to understand Mike’s terror at that  moment, I need to take you back many years to a warm summer day when I thought it would be fun to take my four young children for a walk along the Fox River. 

We brought bread to feed the ducks and laughed at their antics.  But, things took a dark turn as we notice a gaggle (right?) of geese approaching.  I suppose they wanted in on the bread give-away.  I warned the kids to just keep walking and ignore the geese because they were not as nice as the ducks.  As we made our way through the gathering group loudly honking at us, suddenly one came up to Mike, stretched its long neck and hissed at him.  He’s been traumatized ever since by the thought of geese or anything that hisses.  So, imagine his panic when his worst nightmare was relived.  And with a bat, lying-in-wait, of all things.  He texted me with the grisly details of his encounter, ending his message with the cryptic realization that he had come dangerously close to becoming a vampire. 

Later that evening, he saw a promo for the ten o’clock news with the alarming announcement of  “Rabid bats in Chicago, even on the Gold Coast, and what you can do to stay safe.”  He said he was definitely tuning in to the ten o’clock news.  The next day, I asked him if he learned how to stay safe from bats and he replied, frantically, “Yeah, stay indoors.”

A couple of weeks later, Mike and Laura were, once again, enjoying a lovely day, walking a trail through the local forest preserve when a leaf blew across his path.  He screamed, Laura laughed.  In the words of the very funny comedian, Jim Gaffigan, Mike is more of an “indoorsy person”! 

With Halloween just around the corner, I’m wondering if any of you readers have a funny or scary story to tell.  Please share.


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2 responses to “Close Encounters Of The Rabid Kind

  1. Ed Novick

    My favorite funny/scary animal story happened Christmas 1993.

    My mom and dad used to get a real evergreen tree for a Christmas tree. Not anymore.

    Christmas 1993 my dad noticed that the Christmas tree they got and decorated would occassionally shake. He thought it was because of the heating vent behind the tree kicking on and blowing the tree. He was wrong.

    Christmas Eve day they noticed that the tree was shaking again. They discovered that a squirrel had a nest in the tree! It was loose in the living room! They tried to open the front door and chase it out. Instead, it ran downstairs apparently into the crawlspace.

    We have a Christmas Eve party every year. People were coming over with a squirrel loose in the house. My dad asked the neighbor to send his dogs into the basement crawlspace to get the squirrel. The dogs weren’t any help. We ended up getting a squirrel trap and set it up in the basement with nuts for bait, and proceeded to have the party. Overnight, we slept in the bedrooms with the doors closed. Christmas morning…still no squirrel. We opened Christmas presents and got dressed….still no squirrel. We went to Christmas mass at church and back home…still no squirrel.

    We went to a Christmas Day party away from home and my brother went home and discovered an angry and growling squirrel had been caught in the trap! He called my dad to tell him, and my dad went home and brought my uncle, an outdoorsy hunter with guns, with him to handle it.

    They were concerned that if they let the squirrel out of the cage that it would either turn on them and attack them, or would try to get back into the house.

    They decided to try to drown the squirrel. They filled up a garbage can with water and put the cage into the garbage can, but the cage was a little too big and the cage stuck out of the water enough that the squirrel got wet, but could still get air at the top.

    Now they had a wet, cold AND angry squirrel on their hands!

    They decided to shoot the squirrel with a pellet gun. The pellet shot hurt the squirrel, but didn’t kill it. Now they had a wet, cold, injured and VERY angry squirrel on their hands.

    Finally, my uncle shot the squirrel with a low gage gun, putting the squirrel, and my dad, out of their misery.

    Back to the party for a Merry Christmas with an unforgetable funny story to tell.

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