Tag Archives: Hoarders

So Much To Do…So Many Episodes Of Snapped To Watch…

Procrastination-3[1]So, I really should not be sitting at my computer right now.  I have a million other, important things I should be doing.  Those of you familiar with box wine musings might remember a post from last January about my failed attempts to prepare our house for the 2011 Christmas holidays.  That led me to make a rather bold, public New Years Resolution to clean my house from top to bottom so that I would be able to enjoy the 2012 holiday season, free of stress.  I think my exact words were, “No closet, cabinet, or drawer will be overlooked. Dust bunnies will be but a distant memory.”  Or something like that. 

Anyway, the point is, I started out on a mission.  And, I succeeded in scouring every room on the first floor of my house from floor to ceiling.  I was pretty amazing, really.  Then, about two weeks later, I spotted an evil cobweb hanging about a hundred miles up from the two-story ceiling in our family room.   (Sidenote:  two-story ceilings:  a stupid feature in a house – refer to my post:  And Another Thing…Random Thoughts, 09/13/12, for other dumb ideas in home construction that seem really cool when you’re walking through the house….) Anyway, upon seeing the return of the enemy so soon after my heroic (a ladder was involved) removal, I threw in the towel.  I surrendered.  I figured, “Who was it hurting?”  And you know what?  It’s actually pretty easy to live with the dangling threads of dust if you just each mind your own business.   

But, now, as Christmas approaches, the trials of last year seem like kid’s stuff.  This year, I am faced with a real challenge.  My house looks like the “before” house on any given episode of Hoarders.  That’s because it has suddenly become a storehouse for:  unsold items from a recent family estate sale (some of which are travelling downtown on Saturday – ooohhh that’s tomorrow – when son, Brian moves into his bachelor pad), wedding gifts from other son, Mike and Laura’s wedding (that’s okay, guys – we don’t mind), and, of course, Christmas lights, strewn about in an orderly mess through several rooms.  Then, just for fun, throw in Thanksgiving when third son, Peter, spent the entire week home from school doing his laundry, leaving large duffel bags, hampers and any other vessel filled with his dirty clothing everywhere, and I became sort of paralyzed, falling rather easily into that familiar fantasy about having my own secret apartment (a thought I’ve actually done some research on, but that’s a story for another blog). 

 I’m not sure where to start, but I do know that priority one is getting Brian’s stuff ready to be packed into the rental truck we’re picking up in a few hours.  So, I really should be focusing on that.  I keep telling myself that once his things are together, and especially packed into the truck this evening, my house will start to resemble a normal dwelling place.  Then, I just have to move the wedding gifts into Mikes bedroom.  But before I do that, I HAVE to figure out how to take apart the marimba in his room (if you don’t know what a marimba is, look it up – it’s big) that we borrowed from school and were supposed to return by late October.  Sorry about that, Mr. Thurlow. 

So, I’m sure you can understand why I’m sitting at my computer instead of doing something constructive.  But, I really do need to go.  There are so many things to do:  check my Facebook, see if there are any Snapped episodes I haven’t watched yet (doubtful), oh, maybe buy Hoover some dog food, ummm….and some other really important things.

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Forget The Whirlpool, Give Me Closet Space

Not sure how this one got by me, but in my last post, I touched on a few of the worst ideas in home construction that seem cool when you’re walking through a model.  In my opinion, anyway.  And, this morning I realized I’d forgotten a biggie:  the whirlpool tub.  Seriously, how many of you soak in a bath tub these days?  I know the idea sounds relaxing, but I’m pretty sure the only time it happens is on reality TV or television commercials (“Calgon, take me away”).  It really hit me recently when I was in a house-cleaning frenzy and decided to give my bathroom a real scrubbing, instead of the usual quick toilet, sink, floor going-over.  No, this time I was going to tackle that porcelain monster – the whirlpool tub.  The tub, which, by the way, hasn’t been used for bathing in years.  The tub, which now serves as a very large valet for my husbands clothes – his gym clothes taking up one corner,  yard-work clothes in another and shirts to go to the cleaners in a bag inside the tub.  So, it does serve a function, I suppose.  But, bathing?  Not since our kids were little and we’d fill it with bubbles and turn on the jets.  That’s a sure-fire way to get kids in the tub.  These days, though, when I take the time and energy to make it look like a tub and not something you’d see on Hoarders (in case a guest might need to use our bathroom, which I don’t think has ever happened), I actually find myself dusting the tub instead of trying to remove soap scum from the sides.  It’s just a really dumb attempt at a luxury feature.   You know what would be real luxury for me?  Lots and lots of closets.  And a huge laundry room large enough to comfortably spread out to do the laundry and accommodate shoes and jackets, etc.  THAT’S luxury.  And, I’m sure that losing the ginormous soaking tub and incorporating my ideas instead, would be HUGE selling points in a house.  Am I right or am I right?  Yeah…that’s what I thought.


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