A sense of humor is a terrible thing to waste, which is why I am taking this opportunity to publicly announce my new New Years Resolution (stop judging) to surround myself with people who can appreciate a good joke. I’m not talking about practical jokes. I’ve never been a fan of those. No, I’m talking about dry humor. We, here at BWB, believe there is direct correlation between a person’s ability to understand dry wit and their intelligence level. Nothing screams I HATE YOU more than deftly dropping a remark so dry it threatens evaporation only to be completely missed by the intended recipient (thus evaporating) or worse, is met with a serious look of concern. What the world hears me saying, at this point is, “I was kidding…It was a joke…” What I’m thinking is “OMG I hate you. Remind me to NEVER talk to you again.” What a waste of a perfectly dead-panned moment. Continue reading
Tag Archives: New Years resolutions
So, I really should not be sitting at my computer right now. I have a million other, important things I should be doing. Those of you familiar with box wine musings might remember a post from last January about my failed attempts to prepare our house for the 2011 Christmas holidays. That led me to make a rather bold, public New Years Resolution to clean my house from top to bottom so that I would be able to enjoy the 2012 holiday season, free of stress. I think my exact words were, “No closet, cabinet, or drawer will be overlooked. Dust bunnies will be but a distant memory.” Or something like that.
Anyway, the point is, I started out on a mission. And, I succeeded in scouring every room on the first floor of my house from floor to ceiling. I was pretty amazing, really. Then, about two weeks later, I spotted an evil cobweb hanging about a hundred miles up from the two-story ceiling in our family room. (Sidenote: two-story ceilings: a stupid feature in a house – refer to my post: And Another Thing…Random Thoughts, 09/13/12, for other dumb ideas in home construction that seem really cool when you’re walking through the house….) Anyway, upon seeing the return of the enemy so soon after my heroic (a ladder was involved) removal, I threw in the towel. I surrendered. I figured, “Who was it hurting?” And you know what? It’s actually pretty easy to live with the dangling threads of dust if you just each mind your own business.
But, now, as Christmas approaches, the trials of last year seem like kid’s stuff. This year, I am faced with a real challenge. My house looks like the “before” house on any given episode of Hoarders. That’s because it has suddenly become a storehouse for: unsold items from a recent family estate sale (some of which are travelling downtown on Saturday – ooohhh that’s tomorrow – when son, Brian moves into his bachelor pad), wedding gifts from other son, Mike and Laura’s wedding (that’s okay, guys – we don’t mind), and, of course, Christmas lights, strewn about in an orderly mess through several rooms. Then, just for fun, throw in Thanksgiving when third son, Peter, spent the entire week home from school doing his laundry, leaving large duffel bags, hampers and any other vessel filled with his dirty clothing everywhere, and I became sort of paralyzed, falling rather easily into that familiar fantasy about having my own secret apartment (a thought I’ve actually done some research on, but that’s a story for another blog).
I’m not sure where to start, but I do know that priority one is getting Brian’s stuff ready to be packed into the rental truck we’re picking up in a few hours. So, I really should be focusing on that. I keep telling myself that once his things are together, and especially packed into the truck this evening, my house will start to resemble a normal dwelling place. Then, I just have to move the wedding gifts into Mikes bedroom. But before I do that, I HAVE to figure out how to take apart the marimba in his room (if you don’t know what a marimba is, look it up – it’s big) that we borrowed from school and were supposed to return by late October. Sorry about that, Mr. Thurlow.
So, I’m sure you can understand why I’m sitting at my computer instead of doing something constructive. But, I really do need to go. There are so many things to do: check my Facebook, see if there are any Snapped episodes I haven’t watched yet (doubtful), oh, maybe buy Hoover some dog food, ummm….and some other really important things.
Alright, folks…here it is: today is June 27, 2012. This date marks almost exactly six months since I stuck my neck out with my very public New Years Resolution. You regular readers of this post might remember in early January when I posted my rather ambitious resolution for the new year. It wasn’t the usual litany of losing weight, going to the gym more, or any other pedestrian reform. No, mine was a year-long project to get organized and scrub my house from top to bottom – every floor, every room, every closet, every cabinet. No corner would be overlooked in my frenzy. I was determined to create a completely dust-free, clutter-free home. The goal I had set for myself was to simply be able to enjoy the Christmas holiday season when it rolls around again (which I’ve come to realize, happens at the same time every year – so why does it always come as such a surprise?). Continue reading