As I was watching one of my absolute, all-time favorite television shows the other night, I started thinking about something we, here at Box Wine, have said for years: that we pretty much use our favorite TV shows and movies as a gauge to determine with whom we can and cannot be friends.
Filed under Uncategorized
The following is an excerpt from our book, Living The Dream On A Box Wine Budget (Petrina Collins and Casey Quinn) now available for download on Kindle and Kindle apps for iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, PC, Mac, Blackberry and Android-based devices ($2.99 at amazon.com).
PETS: PART II – DOG COURT
Irrational behavior is often blamed on the rollercoaster ride of hormones. Whether it is labeled as PMS or menopause, women have a built-in excuse for bad decisions. Tami had the good sense to opt for major surgery to end the monthly madness. I think there was probably some medical reason for the surgery, but I’m sure it paled in comparison with the other unquestionable benefits of the procedure. Naturally, I was wildly jealous of her seemingly simple solution.
One day, before Tami’s epiphany of life without the threat of pregnancy, exhausting mood swings, or periods (usually resulting in husband, Jim, asking incredulously, “Again?”), she fell under the evil spell of estrogen and made a decision that eventually landed her in dog court.
The day started like any other. The kids were unrelenting in their pleas for a companion for their golden retriever, Rookie, who had already begun receiving AARP newsletters. Truth be told, I don’t think Rookie really had any interest in cultivating new friendships at that point in his life. Hmmm…sounds familiar. Maybe Tami and Rookie had more in common than we thought. Anyway, she let her guard down and found herself driving down the road that dead-ended with Tami asking herself, “What have I done?” And in the blink of an eye, a new member was added to the family. Tami knew the instant Max entered the car for the drive home that she had made a huge mistake. He was a beagle puppy, and like all puppies, was lovable at first glance. That’s the evil part of the whole thing. Tami hadn’t had puppy experience, having adopted Rookie after he’d passed that stage. His worst habit was his penchant for take-out pizza. And he most certainly had the common decency to do his business outside the house. Max had a lot to learn and seemed absolutely unwilling to do so. Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Today is the day that will live in infamy. Yes, December 7, 1941 will always be remembered for the devastating surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, spiralling the United States into a second World War. My father served in WWII as an Army paratrooper with the Screaming Eagles 101st Airborne Division. My father-in-law served in the Marine Corps and, at the age of nineteen, suffered a severe, life-threatening injury during the battle at Iwo Jima. Only recently, has he told anyone of his experience during that life-changing moment.
He still isn’t sure what hit him. All he knew was, in a split second, he felt like he was on fire. Drifting in and out of consciousness, he only prayed that the unspeakable pain would end. Unbeknownst to him, his unit had been pushed back as he lay, completely unprotected, in front of his own lines. A medic came to his aid and hastily administered morphine, while attempting to carry him back to safety on a canvas stretcher, only to be dropped several times when bombs exploded all around them. He says he can remember looking at the medic just as a bullet shot right through him. He remembers seeing the hole. Then, my nineteen year old, wounded father-in-law administered morphine to the very medic who had so bravely come to his aid. That man never survived the battle. He died saving my husband’s father, but he will never be forgotten.
(Insert shameless plug here) My son, Brian, produced a short documentary, while studying film in college, entitled, The Story Of A Generation, which can be viewed on You Tube. In it, he interviewed his grandfather about his experience at Iwo. It is worth the time to watch, as these men are vanishing too quickly and, soon, I fear their stories will be relegated to ancient history. After the war, he went on to receive his bachelor’s degree at LaSalle College in Philadelphia, continued at the University of Chicago for his Master’s degree, and, then together with my mother-in-law, raised eight children. Though his injury is a constant reminder of the hell he endured, he remains “Always Faithful” to the Marine Corps. Semper fi, Grandpa.
Filed under Uncategorized
Well, former Governor Rod Blagojevich has just been sentenced to fourteen years in prison after being convicted on 18 counts of corruption. Personally, I never liked the guy. I always thought he was a slimy little weasel, but that’s just me. Now, after his antics in and out of the courtroom, I know that he is an arrogant slimy little weasel. But, despite evidence pointing to his enormous character flaws, he does seem to have a loyal following. There are those who believe that, even though he may have been guilty of criminal activity, it certainly did not warrant the heavy sentence. I mean, this IS Illinois, after all. Then there is the camp that believes his only crime was his own gargantuan stupidity – while undeniable, is not against the law. I have to say, though, if I were in his shoes, I think I’d rather be considered guilty of a crime rather than just being a moron. I mean, even the worst mafia boss is at least protrayed as a slick tough guy. And, I’m sure there are probably some who think he is innocent of all charges and a victim of mean people who are out to get him, as the Governor has repeatedly decried over the last three years. He appears to relish his victim status.
Filed under Uncategorized
What was your worst job? I have a couple that come to mind immediately. When I was thirteen years old, I got my first job (hear that, kids???) as a hat check girl in a neighborhood restaurant/banquet hall on the South Side of Chicago. I lied about my age, saying I was fifteen. I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know anything, which made it far too easy to be completely taken advantage of. My hourly pay was a whopping $1.25, but the icing on the cake was that I was allowed to keep ten percent of my tips. That’s right – ten percent of MY TIPS. And on occasion, two of us girls would be working which meant those tips were shared between us. This was back in the seventies when the average tip was twenty-five cents, so we’re not talking retirement money, but that’s not the point. My dad was furious when he found out that, at the end of each night, I was expected to bring my little tip bowl into the office for the manager to divvy up (1 for me, 9 for them). Since this restaurant was in my neighborhood, the guests were often friends of my parents, and they would often slip a dollar into the bowl for me. My father told me that when they did that, it was because they thought that money was going to me, not management. I learned at a very early age the art of pocketing my tips.
Continue readingFiled under Uncategorized
Now that Thanksgiving is over, I boldly take on the topic of things we are truly thankful for, but rarely admit to in public. Yes, I will be speaking for all of us. Don’t try to pretend that you don’t secretly harbor these thoughts. Your facade of PBS viewing superiority is about to to be revealed. Don’t fight it. Embrace your true feelings. Welcome the liberation.
That said, speaking on behalf of all of you, I am thankful for
…elastic waist bands
…cosmetics
…caller ID
…alcohol
…teachers who get the difference between an elective class and a core class
…the Forever Lazy (don’t have one, yet, but think it’s prettttty awesome)
…people who don’t roll their eyes when they’re behind you in line at the store and your credit card gets declined
…Egyptian Cotton- fragranced linen spray
…Press-On Nails
…store-bought rotissiere chicken
…short masses (you Catholics know what I’m talkin’ about)
…The Real Housewives of Orange County, Beverly Hills and sometimes New York
…Quentin Tarantino movies
…alcohol
…White Castle crave case
…generic brands
…Stephen King books
… and, finally, I am thankful that the Iowa Hawkeye football season has, mercifully, come to an end.
Filed under Uncategorized
As the hours of another Thanksgiving Day wind down, I’m reminded of all the things I am thankful for in my life. I know, I know, everyone can recite the usual litany in their sleep, but, indulge me as I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I am thankful for…the gift of my parents, the greatest people I’ve ever known…who taught me to always search for the glimmer of light, even in the darkest of nights…the fact that they lived long enough to know me as an adult…the mercifully quick and painless death of my father, even though its unexpected nature felt like a sucker-punch…the profound journey I was blessed to take with my mother as she showed me how to live life to the very end with humor, while suffering from the scourge of cancer…my sister-in-law, who has humbled us all by her amazing recovery from a debilitating stroke and her powerful testament to the human spirit and for never giving up hope…my Catholic faith…my husband, who insisted on Catholic education for our kids, even as it squashed any hope of retirement…my kids, the best thing I ever did…my husband’s parents, who have been the model of generosity to me and my family throughout the years…my sister-in-law and brother-in -law, whose hospitality today was endless…”The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” cartoon…and, finally, the fact that I didn’t have to cook a turkey or clean the house today.
I’m sure there are scores of other things for which I am thankful that I neglected to include in my list, but these thoughts were just off the top of my head as we returned home with full bellies and immediately changed into our comfy sweats. Oh, one more thing: I’m really thankful for these sweats.
So, have I become a “softie”? Maybe a little today, but, don’t worry, it won’t last long. I’m already getting completely grossed out by the disgusting bodily noises, followed by howls of laughter coming from the next room. Reality has returned with a vengeance.
Filed under Uncategorized
Just about every Saturday morning finds my husband (who has sworn me to absolute secrecy as to his identity, so for those of you who know me, you, too are sworn) and me leisurely walking down Third Street in downtown Geneva, IL with a cup of Caribou coffee. We look forward to these strolls as a nice way to welcome the weekend. But, we’ve noticed a particular habit of many people that has my husband fuming. Here’s the situation: when you’re walking on a sidewalk, and are approached by others walking towards you, the natural (or so we thought) thing to do is for each party to move aside, as needed. So, why is it, then, that we are the ONLY ones who EVER make the move, often ending up on the grass while the oncoming traffic completely monopolizes the walkway? Hmmmmm??????
Filed under Uncategorized
For the last couple of years now, my husband and I have been on a mission to locate the home of Kirk Ferentz. Who, you might ask, is Kirk Ferentz? If so, then you obviously do not now, nor haven’t in recent years, had a child attending the University of Iowa. Kirk Ferentz is the dreamy (my words, not my husband’s) head football coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes. And, if you’re wondering, no I am not one of those raving lunatic football fans who think that football and athletics in general trump all else in life. Truth is, I really don’t care about football. Or basketball, or any other sport. I don’t have anything against the games or the athletes involved. I completely understand the excitement and fun surrounding a game and admire the incredible talent and dedication of the athletes. I’m just really not all that interested in the actual game. Having said that, my husband and I have traveled to Iowa City for almost every home game and are loyal fans of the Hawkeyes because the electricity in the air at a Big Ten football game is palpable and it’s a lot of fun being a part of that. This year, we’ve had the added excitement of our son, Peter, playing in the drum line of the Hawkeye Marching Band.
But, aside from the game-time lunacy, we have become slightly fanatical about a different aspect of the aura of Hawkeye football – learning more about our fearless leader, Kirk. Mainly, where does this guy live? Are we stalkers? If so, then we’re not very good ones, because we still are completely in the dark as to where he “hangs his hat”, as my dad used to say. His income is public knowledge, so based on that, we figure he must live in palatial luxury. And, while we haven’t searched the entire Iowa City limits, we have yet to locate any area that fits what we envision. But, we’ve just recently come up with the rather surprising possiblity that he may live in a modest home in a regular neighborhood. After the terrible news regarding the football staff at Penn State came out, Joe Paterno was seen peeking out from behind a draped window of his house, which was extremely modest and certainly not the kind of house we ever pictured our Kirk living in.
We looked at each other and almost in unison said, “Could it be we’ve been combing through the wrong neighborhoods all this time?” Maybe he does live in the house with the big Hawkeye mailbox or the one with the wooden silouettes of the gardeners bent over. Or maybe the one with the sign that reads “Back door friends are the best”. Hmmm…it was something to consider. We decided we needed to completely revamp our game plan on our next trip out. Of course, the reality is that we know we will never learn the location of his home, but it’s a lot of fun trying! Our new hobby has our kids a little nervous, though. Of course, our oldest son, Mike, responds as he seems to be doing with rather disturbing frequency, when he learns of questionable behavior by his parents, with his usual concerned voice that what we’re doing might be illegal. He’s becoming a bit of a broken record. I think they’re just worried that one night they’ll be the ones peeking out from behind drawn curtains when the Iowa City police nab us. Hey, at least we have common interests and enjoy doing things together. And after 26 years of marriage, that’s pretty good.
Filed under Uncategorized
The following is an email I recieved and would like to share with you.
Some Belated Parental Advice to Protesters
Marybeth Hicks
Call it an occupational hazard, but I can’t look at the Occupy Wall Street protesters without thinking, “Who parented these people?”
As a culture columnist, I’ve commented on the social and political ramifications of the “movement” – now known as “OWS” – whose fairyland agenda can be summarized by one of their placards: “Everything for everybody.”
Thanks to their pipe-dream platform, it’s clear there are people with serious designs on “transformational” change in America who are using the protesters like bedsprings in a brothel.
Yet it’s not my role as a commentator that prompts my parenting question, but rather the fact that I’m the mother of four teens and young adults. There are some crucial life lessons that the protesters’ moms clearly have not passed along. Continue reading
Filed under Uncategorized
Scribbles on Cocktail Napkins
Tales from the mouth of a wolf
the literary asylum
"Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you. Maybe you don't wear a watch, but your skeletons do, and they always know what time it is." (Sherman Alexie, Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven)
Motherhood + Lifestyle
Natalie. Writer. Photographer. Etc.
Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
"For Somethin' Nice!"
Daily Thoughts and Meditations as we journey together with our Lord.
A little bit of everything ♥
DIY Crafts, DIY Birthday Parties, Custom Presents and Much, Much, More...
Oh! Take a shit, read a story. - My Mother on flash fiction
G’day, you’re at the best wine blog ever! We're all about wine; without the wankery.
a blurred record of my journey through the landscape
taking a closer look at pseudoscience during primetime
A music blog written by Rich Brown
Life on a Box Wine Budget 